Memorable GiFT ;

Thursday, July 30, 2009; 12:30 AM

tis post will mainly abt my feeling on 29th night n 30th early morning...if i dun spread it out in tis way..i thk..later i will reali can't sleep..
all strt wif vinegar...duno y...when jun tell me tat she wan thrw her old vinegar away n save some new d vinegar..i gt some negative thought in my mind...new vineger..does she means tat gt a new person tat cn causes she to eat vinegar??anyway her answer reali let me thk till vry vry far...jz those person....jz those person....
tis 3 words unexpectedly...influence me badly....thking in a negative way..those person is who??situation chg 2 my vinegar strting 2 save le...drop drop...since i still pretend like i dun k..n dun even ask...jz making my own conclusion....tis is me..d selfish me..even doesn't dare 2 face d truth....nt thking of othr feeling..n jz spread self feeling on othr...wat kind of human being is me...more like a devil i thk...or even a mental prob patient..let my emotional rule my world agn..
after tat..evry kind of word came out le..those kinda hard words..sure let she feel..vry vry worry n hurt bah....anyway...say till half way...hv tears in my eyes oledi n i duno y...after tat..she suddenly mention abt d facebook status tat v put..hao xiang nt tat suitable...tat time..reali feeling even more depress....thking more 2wards negaative agn...until..i use d contract as a reason trying persuade myself..all tis is jz becoz of d contract..bt..still didn't gt d comfort effect as be4...mayb..my excuses oso gt cannot work d shi hou bah....anyway...thanx 4 she nt chging d status at last...bt..i still continue persuade her 2 chg..n keep say out more hard d words...hoping tat she chg...i thk..tat time in my mind..if she chg...den i sure gv myself d reason..all tis thg is nt real...so..i no nd let myslef gt into too deep...wat a nice reason 4 a selfish person,rite??mayb God oso knw tat wat i am thking..tat at last...still gv me d chance...4 nt running or escaping away frm tis..or mayb is her true heat n effort she put in tis relationship tat lead 2 tis chance...in tis relationship..i reali find tat hw childish i am in fact...keep on causing problem..making ppl worry...as a bf...i thk..i am totally a failer...since i still need her 2 help me in mny ocassion...even if i in a bad mood..she will oso b by my side...even sometime is me who do d wrong thg...she oso will b d 1 who say sorry 1st....n even..forgive n try 2 comfort me saying tat is her fault...i knw..my emotional expression...has causes mny prob 2 her..n even duno..let her cry hw mny times becoz of tis..she will oweyz letting me knw wat her problem is rather den me...who mostly hide my true feelings....if u nw ask me hw much effort i put into tis relationship..i reali cn jz say...hw much she put..i oni half of her...she is tottally..trying n puting effort to maintain tis relationship...bt me who should b more responsible 2 it...still doesn't do as much as she does..
tis post...i will like 2 sincerely apoloogize 2 her...4 wat i've brg 4 her...reali sorry....n i cn swear tat..i definitely..put my true heart into tis relationship le...jz..i reali dun do as mny sacrifice as u done.....reali sorry...
Till jz nw..after v both off...i recieve her mesage agn...trying 2 comfort me agn...tis is oledi nt d 1st time..my personal stupid emotional action causes her 2 worry...n is my fault throughout d convo whch like 2 made my own conclusion....i should b d 1 who apologize..bt she..still taking all tis burden to herself...plz..jun...dun thk tat evrythg is yr fault,k??
Jun...after c-ing tis post..i hope u will feel beter..although d explanation mayb..nt vry clear..bt i hope tat u understand wat i wanna 2 express...